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Wednesday, January 7, 2015

2015

here is what I want to do this year (in no particular order):

-get my a1c to 6.5 or lower with stable (read: not too many lows) numbers
-reduce drinking (ethanol) [the two are related]
-promote career; not sure what this will mean exactly or if I'll get there this year but the idea is to break out from an academic post doc into industry (which pays a lot more and tends to have better benefits and to a degree more stability, at least in terms of funding for research)

You may notice that all three are related and in fact they are. One of my goals for the next 5 years is to reproduce (hopefully more than once). I am... (Dun dun dun) still 26. Not for too much longer.. And  getting to this point in my life where time seems like it's speeding up faster that I thought it could move (without drugs, in the real world). And I realize that I've been married for over 5 years and that in the last 3 years we became parents to three wonderful dogs and a number of cats (our own and strays alike). And that we are emotionally ready. Just not as much financially or logistically yet. Husband is still in grad school and I've barely escaped in one piece just a short 6 months ago (seems like 6 days ago). My blood sugar averages suck but I know that I can do a lot better - just haven't been doing it.. I'm meeting my new Endo at the end of next month. I should also schedule an eye exam (no excuse - it's literally in my building)... I'm scared. Scared of hearing the words "complications, not compliant, uncontrolled, etc" scared to say these words to my husband. Scared to think about where things might be in 20 years when (hopefully ) our kids are grown. Scared to think that shit can go so wrong even if I do everything I can to do it right. Scared of trying. But not trying is not an option. It's out of the question. There - rant over. Fears released. Onward.

2 comments:

  1. You're gonna be great no matter what because you're a SMART FUCKING COOKIE!
    keep us posted. keep us informed.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you sculls! (My phone autocorrected scully but skulls works!) you're the best!

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