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Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Another Update!

I will start with the not-so-pleasant details: mainly, diabetes. I feel know that recently my self-care as far as blood sugar goes has been lacking at best. Although I am not in any immediate danger as far as highs go, it is the highs that have been haunting me. I stopped wearing Dexcom (and then my transmitter died, but that's another story). The highs are not ridiculous, but they are highs nonetheless. I want better and deserve better. More adherence to low-carbing as well as some old-school logging is needed. I am adamant about living healthfully with diabetes, having more babies, and enjoying life, daily, and in the long term. And maybe I am being too hard on myself. At the same time, however, I have done better, know I can do better, and wish to do better.

OK, on to the awesome stuff: 1. I got four! remote jobs (teaching, writing, editing in the sciences). They are perfect and I love working from home (although I hate waking up at 5 am to get shit done). Sometimes I wonder if I am taking on too much, but it is a good problem to have in my book. ;) 2. I traveled to Peru (just B and I) recently. It was great - and I did it while using a breast pump every 3-4 hrs. - which was a pain in the ass, but I was able to continue breastfeeding when I returned from the trip. Baby will be six months later in May, so I am happy and proud of that. I became a mom and things changed, but I did not lose my wanderlust, nor did I lose myself, while maintaining a commitment to do what is best for my relationship with my husband, as well as for my daughter. All this makes me happy. 3. Baby is awesome; I may be a bit biased, but she is so beautiful and smart :) I want another. Soon. A large part of my strong desire to keep vigilant about diabetes management revolves around my kid (and future arbitrary kids). I also realized, however, during my pregnancy with baby A, that I deserve it too. I deserve normal blood sugar as much as possible. I feel better in normoglycemialand and I want to expect to be healthy for decades, despite diabetes. I understand also the normality of the ebb and flow that diabetes is. I respect biology and know I cannot be perfect. However, having found what works for me (as far as maintaining very tight control), I would now rather always eat low carb and succeed more consistently BG-wise, rather than struggle to eat whatever and feel like a failure or be constantly on edge about my BG.

It is interesting to me, the evolution in self-care I have undergone in the last decade. This applies to diabetes management, emotional aspects of living with diabetes (as well as growing up in general), becoming a mother, and making non-traditional career choices. I am excited to see what comes next.