Change – we all experience it. Whether it’s by choice or whether
it’s forced on us by this thing called life we are all a part of.
In my life the last year or so has been difficult as far as
diabetes management. My (roundtrip) commute clocks in at just over 2 hours
(which is not only sedentary but can be stressful too). The stress of living
life “in the real world” outside of grad school, the stress of grant-writing
and publishing pressures, coupled with the stress of not knowing what lays
ahead for me and my husband (next year) has (to say the least) made for an unsettling
trend in my blood sugar and A1C this year.
Knowing full-well that stress is unlikely to just dissipate,
and not wanting to continue on the roller-coaster high-low in my struggle to
chase sugars in either direction, I tried to focus on specific concrete changes
I could make to improve the state of things. I settled on changing my food
intake, slowly shifting towards (what I now estimate to be) 90% grain-free
low-carb home-prepared choices. II set out in this simply experimenting, but
over time I must say that I am happy with my success. What is success? How do
you measure success? I measure success by how I feel (not necessarily by the numbers).
The stress that Diabetes used to impose (daily and nightly) has faded, and (in
addition to improved glycemic control) this is the biggest measure of
accomplishment for me. I don’t worry about low blood sugar anymore, because I
never take more than 2U of short-acting insulin at a time. I don’t eat after 6
PM, most days, and thus am able to achieve great stability overnight. In
addition, the focus of high-quality proteins and fats in my diet has seemingly
smoothened exercise-induced dips (e.g. these days I can hike on a handful of
nuts and maybe 1 lifesaver if needed, as opposed to pre-gaming with granola
bars or even juice in anticipation of a crash…) These are changes that I have
chosen to make in order to improve my health and quality of life. In a way,
sometimes I feel like I HAD TO make these changes (or some changes) that would
make a difference, because I was really starting to get depressed and angry
that I had to work so hard just to be chasing bgs in every direction on an
almost daily basis (not to mention the averages on my meter, which had the
potential to make me cry some weeks). I have mentioned that I don’t really miss
high carb foods, and if I do I (wait for it) I EAT THEM! Usually, I regret it,
but I am not one of those people who has to be extreme or perfect about my diet
in order to gain what I need from it. This way of eating and dosing insulin in much
smaller quantities has greatly improved my stress and anxiety levels. It has made
a permanent dent in my bg trends (as an example, I used to have spikes into the
200s almost daily, but now anything like that gets a weird raised eyebrow,
because that just doesn’t happen most days anymore.. AND I have had exactly
ZERO LOWS. Sure, I was always vigilant about not having serious lows, but with
this way of eating I am much more comfortable running in the GASP! Normal range!)
Anyway, this isn’t to brag about my sudden morph into some diabetes dominatrix.
I still have work to do – there is ALWAYS more work to do with Diabetes! J
This change in eating habits has been coupled with another
lifestyle change – my ethanol consumption has gone down dramatically. When I
found myself using alcohol to help deal with stress, I recognized right away
that it wasn’t a very healthy outlet for stress, simply because it’s bad for
your health and (for me) provides an excuse to run higher BGs in anticipation
of the over-night crash after drinking. I am happy to say that I am much more
comfortable right now with my alcohol consumption, and that I have been actively
using other means of stress relief more times than not (such as putting my work
away and training my dogs or sewing.) Sewing has been something that I didn’t expect
to fall in love with but did, much to my (sewing) grandmother’s delight. There
is something about sewing that earnestly teaches me the patience I lack and
Diabetes has failed to teach me. When the thread catches or (worse) when the
needle breaks (Arghh!!) all you can do is stop and fix it. Kind of like with
blood sugar. Or life.
My mom always said – life is like a sine graph. We do the
best we can, and we ride the waves. There are things we can control. There are
things that are out of our control. Important to remember (for me anyway).
As life doesn’t slow down, and with even more changes on the
near horizon in my professional and personal life, today I am stopping for a
moment to acknowledge how far I have come. Also, to acknowledge how excited I
am for my future.
<3 You DOC J
Peace out.
